


Why am I here?

by MaxandMatthew24



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Aquors is just a group full of lgbt dorks, Demigirl Character, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Runaway, Teen Pregnancy, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, kicked out, non binary character, possible trigger warning?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-11 11:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10463511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxandMatthew24/pseuds/MaxandMatthew24
Summary: Yoshiko was a simple child. She did what she wanted and no one questioned her. But as the years passed, she realized who she is and the world tries to stop her. All she can think is: "is it really a crime to be happy?"EDIT(8/28/17): this story now has an official ask blog on tumblr! The username is asktransgirlyohane. The blog is run by me, hope you come and visit the blog and ask questions!





	1. The intro

**Author's Note:**

> I had this head cannon for a while and now I'm writing it. (As a side note, the writer is trans)

Yoshiko Tsushima. This name brought pain to the person who owned this name. She was born a boy but wanted to be a girl. She would always say her name as Yohane. She would always play with girly toys and play with girls. She didn't like playing with boys. Her parents didn't think much of it. Even if she played with girls, she never fit in.  
At a young age, she would beg her parents to put on skirts. Her parents would only say yes if she wasn't going anywhere that day. When she first when to kindergarten, she met a girl named Hanamaru Kunikida. They would play all the time in the playground. They would play at each other's houses and play dress up. She would tell Hanamaru that she is a girl. Hanamaru never questioned it.

Once kindergarten ended, the two friends separated. She started grade school alone. She tried to make friends but they would end in confusion. She started to play as a fallen angle. She felt free but alone. She made a small number of friends that drifted off over time. She was alone in middle school.  
She was picked on. She questioned her place in the world. She questioned why she is the way she is. She wished to be normal but questioned what it meant to be normal. She wished to be with people that like what she liked. She did but they never stayed. The bullying gets worst.  
Now in the time of the story. She has long hair with a hair bun on the side. She wears dresses, skirts, wears makeup and hides the mental and physical scars. She sneaked an application to an all girls' school and made it in. Her parents never knew this. Her parents care less and less about her. She prays she never sees any of the girls from her middle school.

It's the first day of school. She sees a girl that looks like Hanamaru but she isn't sure if it's her. She hides in a tree and watches her from a far. The girls is stopped by a orange haired girl. Something happens and a girl that the possible Hanamaru was with started to scream. This startled Yohane and she falls off the tree.  
The girl is Hanamaru but in a panic, Yohane runs away. She is scared to be hurt but Hanamaru follows her.


	2. You remember me right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me, the lay out of episode one is confusing.

They ran into their classroom and class started immediately. The class started to introduce themselves. It was Yohane's turn.  
"Would you like to make a contract with me?" She said with a small giggle. She realized what she just Saud and ran out. No one stopped her. She ran out of the building and to the next bus home. Her parents were angry she left school without a reason.

She hid herself in her room. She did her regular streams. In the internet, she was free. She was praised online. Yet, she wants to end it and have a normal life. She always did her streams when she knows her parents wouldn't go in her room. But for some reason, she heard a knock on her door in the middle of a stream.  
"Hold on! I'm getting changed!" She quickly took off her outfit and turned off the stream. She always practiced in case something like this happened. "There's someone here for you Yoshiko." Yohane opened the door to see her mother there. "Did you finally get a girlfriend? I was getting worried that you don't have a social life." The comment hurt more then it should. But she wasn't expecting anyone today, or ever.

She went to the door to see it was Hanamaru. "Hanamaru?! What are you doing here?!" She quickly looked at the time to see that school ended a while ago. "I wanted to talk to you, Yoshiko-chan. I remembered where you lived so I stopped by. I hope I'm not interrupting anything." "Oh no it's fine! You can come to my room but umm, wait in the living room. I wasn't expecting company and my room is a mess." She half lied. Her room was a mess but she needed to let her views know that she needed to end.

After 5 minutes and cleaning and what not, Hanamaru was in Yohane's room after all these years. "So what did you want to talk about?" Yohane finally broke the silence. "Well I wanted to catch up. We haven't seen each other in years so I figured it was fine." Yohane wanted to cry. No one gave two shits about her in the years they were apart. Hanamaru sees the pain in her eyes. "Are you ok? You look like you want to cry zura." Yohane wanted to cry but she doesn't. "I'm fine Zuramaru, everything is fine." Hanamaru wasn't sure to agree. "Are you sure you're fine, Yoshiko-chan?"

The second she heard that name, she cried. She cried so hard that Hanamaru got startled. "Please don't call me Yoshiko! Call me Yohane please! I can't take it anymore!" There was more then the name that got to her. Her childhood friend still caring about her got to her the most. Hanamaru gave her a comforting hug and told her everything is going to be ok.

After a while was talking, it was time for Hanamaru to leave. Hanamaru said she would be fine staying over but Yohane's parents didn't think it was a good idea. Hanamaru didn't questioned it and left. Yohane told her that she doesn't want to go to school. Hanamaru asked if it would be fine to give her notes from class. Yohane could careless about class but agreed to it.

Yohane was back to being alone. Isolated from the world. In her own little world. She put on her pjs and looked in her closet. All she sees is male gender outfits. And in the corner was a box full of female clothes she gotten behind her parents' back. Her closet was almost empty. Yohane never asked for a lot of new clothes. She would always be scolded for being in the girls' section. In that box, hides her hormones she got behind her parents' back. She stole someone's ID to get them. 

She takes the pill and goes to sleep.


	3. Do I want to do this?

Sometime passes by after the first live for a new school idol group named Aquors. Yohane went to it and felt inspired. She thought to herself, 'could I be an idol like them? I can finally have a place!' Yohane finally decided to go back to school and had a talk with Hanamaru when she was caught by her. She wanted to brake her fallen angle thing but she needed help. She also told her to call her Yoshiko which surprised her but she agreed. The first minutes were a disaster. She immediately went full fallen angle mode and freaked the whole class out. She hid in the school idol club room when Hanamaru and Ruby when to the club room. The leader of the group, Chika, was fascinated with the fallen angle thing. 

But Yohane was more interested in Riko. 

Ever since seeing her at the live, she instantly fell for her. She had beautiful gold eyes that matched her red hair perfectly. Her singing was to die for and her body shape was flawless. She wanted her. And that triggered the one part of her body that made her different from the others. Her little member downstairs was waking up.

"Yohane-chan? You ok? Your face is a little red." Chika said taking a second break from her gushing about the fallen angle thing. "Oh y-yeah! I'm fine! Umm, I'm just going to go to the bathroom real quick!" She ran out before anyone could say anything. She went into the bathroom and had a mental breakdown. She didn't want to be like this.

Everyone was worried about Yohane when she didn't come back after a half an hour. Chika said she'll go and check on her when she came back. Her eyes were red and her face was wet. They all could tell she was crying. She quickly grabbed her things and ran away before any of them catches her.

They met up at Chika's home and they were worried about Yohane but she wouldn't talk to them. Instead, they all dressed up as one of Yohane's little demons. They made a pv with the outfits and got yelled at my Dia, the student council president.

Yohane feels so bad about the whole time and decided to throw all her fallen angle things. Which was almost all her female clothes. She thinks that maybe just excepting what she was born as will make her feel better. 'No using this stupid fallen angle thing.' She thought to herself.

Then a miracle happens, the idol group said her to join them. "In this group, you can be free to be who you are and no one will stop you with us." Chika says after chasing Yohane for what felt like forever. "You sure? I might go a lot of rituals and call you my little demons." "Well we just going to have to deal with it." Riko said with a smile that melts Yohane's heart. 

And from that point forward, she joined them.


	4. I'm not the only one?

Aqours was asked to preform at an event in Tokyo. The group decided to go but Yohane had to fight with her parents to go. Yohane's parents doesn't want Yohane stay over night in a hotel room with a bunch of girls. Yohane had to lie saying that there were going to be boys going for her parents to say yes. Yohane's parents thinks of her as a boy.

The event was a disaster. No one voted for them. They got zero. When they returned, Ruby's sister Dia was there waiting for them. Ruby started crying on her. Dia tells them that her, Kanan, and Mari were school idols. Their performance was worst. They didn't even sing.

When it was time for everyone to go home, You asked Chika if they were giving up but, no answer. Yohane didn't want it to end. She was able to be herself in the group. On the way home, Yohane decided to talk to You. She hasn't gotten to know them so much. "Sooo... How's life?" Yohane can never start a conversation. "It's great! My childhood friend is my lover and I'm doing my best as an idol for her!" This was news to Yohane's ears. "You and Chika are girlfriends?" "We are lovers. Sorry but can you use them/them pronouns with me?" "Oh y-yeah sure, if you mind me asking, what do you identify as? If you don't mind answering." Yohane has never know anyone that used they/them pronouns. It really surprised her. "Oh I don't mind. I'm non binary." "Non binary? I've never heard about that, can you tell me about it?" "Yeah! How I define it is that I don't identify as a girl or boy. I don't feel the need identify as a gender." You smiled telling her about this. You always loved educating people about anything lgbt.

"Can I tell you something You-san?" "Yeah sure, go ahead!" Yohane was having a little trouble saying it. "I-I'm transgender, male to female. I'm also a lesbian. I don't know a lot about the lgbt community. I never know any else in the community so I've always been alone on this." You simply smiled. "It's OK, everything will be OK. Aqours will always have you back. Listen, I got some resources you go to if you need any help. And I will teach you about lgbt community if you want." Yohane was so happy that she want to cry.  
Yohane and You talked the whole on the ride home. You asked Yohane if she wanted to stay over at her place. Yohane wanted to and somehow convinced her parents to let her. They talked for hours. They learned about each other's interests and what they like to do. Yohane was able to feel comfortable around You. They talked about each other's experiences in life. They talked about Yohane's crush on Riko. They talked until they passed out.

The next time they went to school, there was drama going on with three third years. One of them was hugging one as the one being hugged is trying to get her off. The one that was hugging the girl was the school director Mari. The one trying to get her off was Kanan. Then there was one yelling at the two of them. That one is Dia. Mari wants the three of them to be idols again. Kanan said she doesn't want to and Dia is defending her.  
Then Chika decided to scream at them and told them to go to the club room. In the club room there was more back and forth of arguing. Kanan just picked up and left after a while.

"Geez. Dia-san. You know something don't you?" "W-what? I don't know anything." "Then why were you sticking up to Kanan-san just now?" "That's because... Ah!" Dia started running out the room. "Yoshiko-chan!" "On it!" Yohane ran after her and caught her using her magic. "It's Yohane!"  
The group when to the Kurosawa household. Dia told everything. Mari got so upset she ran out of the house. We decided to watch the whole thing from a far. Mari and Kanan made up. 

Aqours was now a group of 9.


	5. You too?

Aqours decided to have a training camp at Chika's house. They also decided to help out at the snack bar too. But Yohane's parents once again said no.

"We are not letting you go! Do you understand Yoshiko? No!" Yohane's mother yelled. "But mom the club needs to!" "What is this club even about? You never told us!" Yohane's father booked at her. "It's a- It's a umm sports club! Yeah!" Her parents didn't believe her. "You were never interested in sports. What made you want to be apart of a sports club? And also what sport?" Yohane didn't prepare for something like this. They normally never cared. "It's track and field! I just wanted to try it as I really like it!" Her parents were still angry. "Well regardless, you're not going!" Her father yelled so loud the whole neighborhood could hear. "I HATE THE BOTH OF YOU!" She ran out of the room.

Yohane was done with them. She didn't want to be with them anymore. She got a backpack and filled it with all her things. She doesn't have a lot of belongs. And also got her small bag for her electronics. She took all the money she has and ran out. She ran away. She was free. Her parents don't know any of her friends so they can't find her. But, she didn't know where to go.

She went into a small diner a few blocks away. She took out her laptop and looked at resources that You gave her. She found a runaway shelter for lgbt youth not far from her location. She ate dinner and went there. She only asked to stay for a day for now. She told the staff that she will have a place to stay the following day.

She went to the training camp at Chika's house. She honestly had a lot of fun working in the snack bar with her friends.The few days being with her friends was amazing. She was so happy she has ever been. But she still wasn't comfortable enough to come out to them. She remembered, she ran away. She completely forgotten about it.

"You! Can we talk?" You was talking to Kanan. "Oh yeah! What's wrong?" Yohane felt a little uncomfortable talking about her current situation let alone in front of two people. "I-I ran away from home and I don't have a place to stay. I did go to a shelter but I don't want the chance was being found." You touched Yohane's shoulder. "It's ok, it's ok. Listen I could ask my mom if you would stay with me for a while. Do you mind asking what happened?" You asked in the most comforting voice. Kanan gave Yohane a little rub on the back. "They didn't want me to come for the training camp. I never told them that I'm apart of this club let alone an all girls school. They have been thinking I was in the public school near my apartment. I couldn't take it anymore and I left." Yohane started to cry a little.

Kanan was just confused. You can tell and wants to tell him what's happening. "Yohane-chan, can I tell Kanan-chan?" Yohane took a minute to answer. She shook her head 'yes'. "Ok. Kanan-chan, Yohane is trans and never told her parents." "Oh so that's what's happening. Well don't worry Yohane-chan, I'm trans too. I'm a female to male." Kanan smiled and Yohane looked at her. Kanan opened her arms for a hug. Yohane immediately hugged her, crying hard.

"Kanan! Ready to go- what's wrong with Yoshiko-chan?" Mari asked and she starts petting Yohane's back. "She has some personal issue that's she's not comfortable telling everyone right now. Give me a few minutes, I need to help her." "Oh no take your time. The driver can wait. Hey Yoshiko-chan? We are all here for you. We all love you and here to listen to you when you're ready." Mari smiled and walked away. "Hey I just called my mom and she said you can stay for as long as you need to. She is getting the guest room ready right now." Kanan let go of Yohane and went down on one knee.

"Yohane-chan, you are very strong. Stronger than you think. I'm proud of you. We will help you every step of the way. Love you." Kanan gave her a quick hug before leaving. "Yohane-chan, we got to leave in a few minutes or we will miss the last bus. Let me get you come water real quick." You said as she goes and get water. Yohane finally stopped crying.

Riko enters the room Yohane is in. She sees that she was crying. "Hey are you ok?" Yohane looked down. "Yeah I'm fine." Riko gave Yohane a little pat. "I may not be able to be a lot but I'm here to listen if you need to talk. Ok?" Yohane nods "Yohane-chan! We got to leave!" You yelled from the other room. "I guess I'll see you at next practice." She gave Yohane a quick peck on the cheek and ran away embarrassed. 

Yohane was shocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been updating this a lot since I had surgery on the 24th and I'm recovering from it so yeah, I have a lot of free time right now.


	6. I can love too, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've noticed that I go straight to the point. also please leave a review, it really helps

The group was at the train station. Riko decided to go to her piano competition in Tokyo. They wished her the best of luck. And she was off. Yohane wanted to be supportive but her selfish side wanted her to stay with them. She wanted to confess her love to her. She had it planned to confess after the show. Of course that wasn't going to happen. And no Riko also meant they needed someone to take her place. That person: You. 

In practice, there was something bothering them and no one knew what. They kept bumping into Chika. They were normally really good at picking things up. After practice, Chika and You were still practicing at the small store 5 of them when to. A while later You finally got it and then Chika got a call from Riko. Yohane was extremely nervous to talk to her that she made Ruby talk to her. Her heart was not ready to talk to her. 

When You and Yohane got home, You ran straight into their room. They had a talk with Mari and Yohane wasn't invited. What she does knows it the fact the You flipped Mari. Yohane decided to check up on You and she sees her talking to someone outside. Then all the sudden You is running outside. Yohane followed and sees that Chika came over and You is crying on top of her. You and Chika were having relationship problem. But they were able to talk it out and everything was going great. 

Aqours had did their live performance. It was one of their best performances. Riko won her competition. Then Chika wanted to know what them different from Muse. So they went to Tokyo. They went around and they left still questioning. On the train ride home, Chika told everyone to go to the beach. Chika figured out what made them different from Muse. And Yohane took this moment to confess to Riko. The sunset was beautiful and the weather was perfect. She had to do it now or never. 

"Hey, Lily, can you come here for a minute?" Riko was a little surprised about the nickname. "Y-yeah sure. What's up?" The others knew what was happening and watched from a far. They all knew about Yohane's little crush except for Riko. It was really obvious. Yohane took Riko's hand and went a little closer to the water. "Lily, I always enjoyed our time together. I know we don't talk to each other a lot but I want that to change. I want to spend more time with you. I want to be with you. I-I love you, Lily." Riko was shocked. Yohane got closer to Riko. "I want you, Lily" Yohane says under her breath as she closes the space between them, locking her lips together. 'They're soft' Yohane thinks to herself breaking the kiss. Riko didn't know what to say. She was just shocked. "I-umm... I love you too, Yocchan. I've always loved you." Riko says as she returns the kiss. A faint "get a room!" can be heard. They both blush like crazy. "Hey, Lily. I'm trans, male to female. That doesn't bother you does it?" Yohane wanted Riko so badly that she had to tell her. Riko held her hands. "Of course I'm fine with it. Umm- you want to come over to my place?" Riko's whole face was red. Yohane's face also turned red. "Y-yeah, I would love that." They kissed again.The whole train ride home was just endless teasing. 

When they made it to Riko's house, they made lots of love.


	7. What have I done?

Today was another day of practice. It's seemed like it was the hottest day. Yohane obviously was wearing a giant black cloak that had her 20 times more hotter. It was so hot that Kanan and You decided to take their shirts off. Everyone was starring that them. Kanan's had a rock hard six pack. He had a v shape that was all beautiful muscles. He was very buff from the hormones he's been on. You could see all the sweaty hours that he did to get to that body. You was the same way just not as buff. They didn't want to go on hormones so they just work just as hard as Kanan to get the desired v shape. 

Mari and Chika couldn't help but be jealous. Everyone was just starring hard at them. Even Dia can't keep her eyes off of them. "Why is everyone starring at us?" As soon as You said that, everyone's faces turned red. "O-oh no reason! Umm we got to get back to practice!" Dia was obviously thirsty for those muscles. Yohane got a thought in her head. 

After practice, Yohane decided to talk to Kanan. "Hey Kanan! I was wondering if you know any workouts that would make my body look more feminine." Kanan nodded "I actually do. I did workouts like those a while back. I can give you basic workouts for just the body shape or the advance one if you want some muscle along with the shape." Yohane thought for a moment. "I think the body shape is enough for me thanks." "Alright then we can train together if you want. I don't mind having a feminine kinda shape. I like the parts of my body that are female." Yohane got surprised at the fact. "Yes I would like that. You...really like the female parts of your body?" 

"Yeah! Don't get me wrong, I want to be a male but I just like really like my body. I still let people use female pronouns with me. I never plan on getting any surgeries for my transition. I just want to more comfortable with my body in my transition. So I'm just going to be on T and lots of workouts." Kanan smiled. Yohane didn't know any trans person was like this. "Wow. I've been on estrogen for a while and I've always wanted surgery. I've never liked my body and I wanted to change." Kanan petted Yohane's head. "You are stronger than you think. Don't forget that." 

They discussed a schedule that works for both of them. Yohane was starting to feel happy. She knows she can trust this group of friends. She knows she has friends that truly care about her. She is away from people that would hurt her. She is with the love of her life. She doesn't think anything can go wrong. 

At lease, that's what she thought. 

It was time for the Love Live preliminaries. Their performance was amazing. They had the support of their whole school. They all went. All of them. The stage was the biggest they've been in yet. Everything was perfect. Until a security guard stopped them when they were leaving. 

"Excuse me ladies, I need to ask a question to the gentlemen right there." He said looking at Yohane. "Are you Yoshiko Tsushima? The runaway child?" Yohane was going to say no when her mother showed up. "That's him! Yoshiko what are you doing?! I was worried sick about you! We are going home now!" The whole group was in shock. But they got in front of Yohane. "Who do you think you are? She is a girl! Not a guy!" Chika said. "Excuse me but you should talk to people like that! And I know my son when I see him! Come on lets go Yoshiko!" "She is a girl! Tell her Yohane-chan!" 

Yohane froze. She didn't know what to say. But she has to tell her mother the truth. "Mom, I'm a girl now. I'm not Yoshiko, I'm Yohane. This group is my family now." Yohane's mother had a disgusted face. "You're trans?! Eww! You're full of unholy sin! Get away from me!" And she runs off, disowned her child. 

After she left, Yohane told the whole group everything. They were all very supportive and kind about it. And turns out everyone in the group is part of the lgbt community. Then Riko told the group something too. 

"I want to share something too. Umm, I don't know how to say this but. I'm pregnant with Yocchan's baby." The group was in shock. 

"What?"


	8. Side chapter

In case anyone is curious about who the Aqours members are, here it is 

Chika: pansexual, polyamorous

Riko: bisexual

You: non binary, queer 

Ruby: homoromantic

Hanamaru: homosexual

Yohane: transgender, homosexual

Kanan: transgender, pansexual

Dia: demigirl, homosexual

Mari: homosexual

I don't know if they will be mentioned but here it is just in case I don't.


	9. What do we do now?

No one knew how to react to the news. Apparently, when Riko and Yohane were having sex the condom broke. 

Riko had been feeling sick for a while. She told her mother about it and when to the doctor. They found out she is pregnant. She was scared, she didn't know how to tell Yohane about it. Thankfully her mother was supportive about it. 

Then this raises the question: what's going to happen to Aqours? 

They need Riko or Aqours isn't the same. Yohane just can't help but feel so bad about it. And are they even going to keep it? Of course Yohane will stay by Riko's side no matter what. But for now, they needed to prepare for the Love Live. 

They didn't want to discuss about it. No one knew what to do. There was enough time for Riko to be apart of the Love Live but probably not after. 

Yohane and Riko talked out what they were going to do with the baby. As soon as they got the approval from Riko's mother, they decided to tell everyone. 

"Alright everyone! That concludes today's practice!" Kanan slapped her hands. "Everyone we got an important meeting now so please change quickly!" Everyone yelled out 'ok'. 

"Ne You-chan! There's a new ice cream shop that I want to take you to!" Chika showed a flier to the shop. "Sure I would go. I love spending time with you." They gave Chika a little kiss. 

"Oh Ruby-chan! I finished the idol book you lent me. Here." Hanamaru gave the book to Ruby. "Thanks. You sure do read fast, I gave you this book not too long ago." "Well you know I love to read but, there's one thing that I love more than reading." "And what's that?" Hanamaru gave her a kiss on the forehead and smiled. "You." Ruby started to blush like crazy. 

"Kanan! Shiny!" Mari gave Kanan a death grip hug. "Yes haven't had a lot time alone together so maybe we could fix that." Mari said in a lust filled voice. "I'm not apposed to the idea." Kanan was quick to answer really excitedly. 

"You sure you can't feel it yet?" Yohane says as she rubs Riko's stomach. "Yes I'm sure. It's not developed enough to move or anything." Riko smiled. "I could use my dark magic and-" "No you're not." Riko gave Yohane a kiss. 

In the background is a lone Dia. She's not jealous or anything I swear. 

"You're welcome to came with us Dia-san if you want." Chika can feel the awkwardness radiating off of her. "Yeah, you're welcome to join." You honestly was the only one, besides Ruby, that felt bad about Dia not being in a relationship. "No I'm fine. You two can be alone and do whatever you want. Anyway we need to get this meeting started!" 

Everyone sat at their spots on the table. "Alright now that everyone is ready. Yohane-san and Riko-san have something to discuss with us." The couple nodded and held each other's hand. 

"Ok since all you know that-" Riko turned completely green and held her hand on her mouth and ran out. "Try not to vomit on the floor!" Dia said as she ran out with her. Dia already knows what the plan is so opped to go with Riko if she was having morning sickness. And she can stand being around vomit. 

"Guess I'm the one saying it then. Ok so we have decided to keep the baby. We planned on waiting until it's born to know the sex. Any questions?" 

"Here!" Chika raised her hand up. "Yes Chika?" "Who is going to be the best man are your wedding?" Everyone gave Chika the 'really?' face. "What? It's important!" "Ok anything else?" Ruby slowly raised her hand. "Have you decided when you're going to have the baby shower?" 'finally a question that's on topic' "We would like it around 5-6 months. So it's not too early or too late." 

"Do you plan to have lots of sex?" 

"Shiny-oneesan why are you like this?" 

"That's just how I am, Chika-chi. That's just how I am." 

Dia and Riko came back in the room. Dia was helping Riko walk as Riko held her stomach in pain. "I've called Riko-san's mother to come and get her and Yohane-san." 

"Damn Riko-chan, you ok there? You look horrible!" "Thanks for the support, Chika-chan." She did look like she wasn't having a good time. Yohane helped Riko to her seat. "Any more questions?" 

"You still didn't answer my question-" 

"I'm not answering that."


	10. You noticed huh?

After some rest, Riko felt better and the two decided to cuddle on her bed. Riko had her head on Yohane's chest. Yohane gently rubbed her head. 

While Riko rubbed Yohane's little member. 

"You want to do 'that' now?!" Yohane's face turned red. Enough Yohane likes to top but the thought of Riko trying to take control embarrasses her. 

Riko was too embarrassed to answer and already started to take Yohane's clothes off. She couldn't help but need some release. 

"Hey hold up- stop!" Too late. The one thing she didn't want anyone to see was showing. That thing: her scars. 

Riko stopped and looked at them. "Y-Yocchan? How d-did you get these?" Riko was scared about the answer. She thought of everything that those could have been from. 

"Th-those were from umm... When I shave my legs! Yeah! I'm clumsy with a razor!" Yohane freaked out and said the first thing she can think of. Riko took another look at them. 

"Yocchan, you cut?" 

Yohane sighed. "I did. But not anymore! The fallen angle Yohane doesn't need to do that anymore!" Riko gave her a kiss. "But why?" 

This was a topic Yohane never told anyone. No one knew she did it. She didn't think anyone would know. She never thought she would ever have a lover. Luckily for her when she did cut, she didn't cut to the point that she needed to go to a hospital. She didn't want anyone to know. 

"I hated life. I hated living. I could have just killed myself easily but I didn't. I just had a little demon in my head that tells me not too. Of course there's an angle in my head that tells me to but I don't pay attention to it. I even had spirits come and tell me to die. But I you know, there was always a force telling me not to. So I just resorted to cutting." 

"Oh Yocchan," Riko hugged her. "There's always a better solution then self harm. We can get you help. We care about you. Your parents aren't what true parents should be doing. You are now loved." They kissed. When they broke away, they locked eyes. 

"Let me show you how much I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to attempt to make a sex scene sorry ^^;


	11. It's time?!

Eventually, the whole school found out about Riko's pregnancy. The students were very supportive and wanted to help anyway they could. This was a surprise to both Riko and Yohane. But they were not complaining. 

A few months has passed and Aqours won the Love Live. And Riko had stopped being an idol because of the baby. That meant it was time for the baby shower. 

The couple decided to push back on the original plan of month 5-6 to month 8. They felt the timing would be better. Plus it was spring. 

Yohane and the group except Riko were setting up everything. Riko and her mother were out running errands so the group can get the house ready. They had lots of food set up and colorful balloons. 

"It's looks pretty zura!" Hanamaru said as Ruby finished putting food on the table. "Woah! It's all gender neutral colors!" 

"The three of us thought it would be better to use those colors then to use pink and blue." Chika said she group hugged Kanan and You. "Alright let's bring the presents in!" The group put there gifts on the table closest to the couch. 

There was a lot of presents. 

"Why is there so many? I thought you guys said you were going to bring one each." Yohane wasn't expecting so many. "I think I know a certain someone that loves spending money." Kanan and Dia said in unison. Everyone looked at Mari. 

"What? I didn't know what to get so I got all of them." Kanan rolled her eyes. "Rich people are crazy." 

"Hey everyone! Riko-chan is outside!" They all got into formation and greeted Riko as she came inside. 

Everyone was having a great time. Yohane and Riko were sitting on the couch together. Yohane kept rubbing Riko's big baby bump. 

"Oh the due date is coming up! You want all of us to be there with you? I'm fine with going to the hospital whenever." You said as they gave Riko a drink of water. "Oh you guys don't have to, but we would appreciate the support. Right Yocchan?" "Of course! I would love my little demons witness the born of my span!" She says as she does her pose. 

"U-umm Riko-san, c-can I rub your belly?" Ruby quietly asked but just enough for Riko to hear. "Of course, go ahead." Riko smiled as Ruby glow from excitement and started to rub her stomach. "O-oh! I felt a kick!" 

"The little one has been more active lately. Not that I mind." Then all the sudden Riko started getting serious pain. She held her stomach quickly and yelled out in pain. "L-Lily?! What's wrong?!" Everyone was in full alert. Fluids started to run down Riko's legs.

"I-It's time!" Everyone gasped. 

"N-now?!" Yohane started to freak out. Dia quickly ran out to inform Riko's mother. Kanan when and helped Riko stay claim as Mari, You, and Chika tried to claim down Yohane. She was freaking out more than Riko. 

Once Riko's mother was informed, Kanan and her helped Riko to the car and Yohane went with them. Kanan went with the three of them to help the couple claim down. Mostly Yohane. Dia and You drove the others to the hospital. 

At the hospital, the group waited in the waiting room. While Yohane is still freaking out. 

"Claim down already! Riko-san will be fine!" "I can't help it! I'm worried something will happen to them!" Everyone sighed. "You're hopeless. Nothing is going to happen to them." Dia was tired of Yohane freaking out so much. 

After an hour, Yohane finally claimed down enough where everyone can just wait in peace. Until they hear Riko screaming from the delivery room. 

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!?" Yohane wanted to run into the room. Luckily they had Kanan to hold her down. "Hold it there, only Riko-chan's mom is allowed with her. I'm sure she is just fine-" More screams can be heard. 

"W-wow, Riko-chan got strong lungs to pull off a scream we can hear." Everyone nodded quickly in agreement. "She's probably in a lot of pain. But I'm sure she will be ok." Ruby said quietly to herself but Hanamaru was just able to hear it. "She will do her rubestie zura." She smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. 

Another 3 hours has passed and everyone was tired. Some of them fell asleep from being so tired. But Yohane refused to sleep even though she could pass out any second. 

"Riko is really hanging in there. I can't imagine how much pain is in." Mari said to Kanan. "Yeah, oh, hey guys! I'll treat you all for drinks if you want." Yohane quickly looked at Kanan. "Coffee, lots of coffee. I don't how long I can last." 

"Why don't you just sleep? We can wake you up if something happens. Oh and me and Chika would have some mikan juice." "I don't want to miss anything! I want to be awake if anything happens." 

As if on que, a faint baby cry can be heard. Everyone that was a sleep woke up. A doctor came out of Riko's room and went to the group. 

"Yohane Tsushima?" Yohane quickly stood up. "Congratulations, it's a boy." The doctor said with a smile. 

The whole group was in awe. They gave Yohane pats and hugs. "C-can I see them?" Yohane asked the doctor. "Of course, everyone, right this way." Everyone wasn't expecting to go in with Yohane but they went anyway. 

They went into the room and saw Riko hold a blanket with red violet hair sticking out. Riko saw the group and smiled. Yohane nervously went up to them. 

"H-hey there little one." Yohane was so nervous about it. "Why don't you hold him?" Riko said tired. She held up the baby to Yohane. "H-how do I hold him? I never held a baby before." Riko's mother came over and gave Yohane a hand. 

In the background, the group was going "aww". "He's so small!" "I want to hold him too!" "He looks so much like them!" Everyone was taking pictures.

"Hey, do you guys have a name for him yet?" You said as they took lots of pictures. The couple looked at each other and smiled. 

"We do, we decided to name him: Mika."


	12. Am I good parent?

Three days later, Riko was finally able to go home. The group decided to throw a small welcome home party. It was a surprise to the couple but they didn't mind. 

"Welcome home Riko (-chan, -san)!" The group said in unison. Riko was happy to see her friends after being in the hospital for 3 days. Not even Yohane was there a lot. She wondered why but never asked. 

After giving her hugs, Riko final sat down on the couch. Yohane was already sitting holding Mika. "You guys don't mind if I breastfeed him right now?" Riko took Mika from Yohane. "Yeah we don't mind. Anyway, how's the parenting life so far?" Chika said curious. Riko started to feed the baby. "Tiring. Luckily the nurses at the hospital were able to help me out." 

"Is it weird to breastfeed?" Mari said more curious then ever. "Yeah, I'm still not use to it. Yeah, come on you got to eat." Riko said to Mika, he stopped eating for a second. Yohane can't help but watch Riko intensely. Then she remembered she want to show Riko something. 

"Hey Lily, me and the gang made something that we want to show you." Yohane smiled as she stands up. "Oh sure." The group lead her to a room close to Riko's room. You took out their camera and started recording. 

The room they took her into was one of the empty rooms in the house that was just used for storage. But now it was turned into a nursery for the baby. 

It was a small room. The room was a claim color green with a white carpet that was clean at lease 12 times. It was that dirty. Kanan, You, and Yohane painted the wall and cleaned the carpet. On one wall was a crib with a mobile on top. On the mobile was mikans, sharks, and dolphins hanging on it. In the crib was a handmade blanket that You and Ruby made together. There was also stuffed animals placed in a neat order. Near the crib was an old rocking chair that Hanamaru, Mari, Chika, and Dia fixed up. On another side was a book shelf filled with books and small toys. And finally the closet that was in the room was filled with baby clothes and a box filled with toys. All of this was done with Riko's mother's premission, she also helped too. 

Riko was in awe. "You guys did this?" They all nodded. "We all did this together while you were in the hospital!" Chika said with excitement. "You did all of this in 3 days?! How is that possible?" 

"We wanted to do something nice for you and we asked your mother for premission and she wanted to help us out too. The first day was mostly getting all the stuff out and painting. We fixed up the rocking chair over there and put together the crib while Kanan-san, You-san, and Yohane-san were painting and cleaning." 

Ruby picked up where Dia left off. "When that was done, You-chan helped me made a blanket to put in the crib. Then we got the crib and rocking chair in the room. Once that was done we build the bookshelf and fixed up the closet." 

"Then we gathered baby books that some of us had and filled it up zura. Organizing the books was Maru's and Mari's job and we did a good job zura." Hanamaru said excitedly. 

"This is all amazing. Words can't describe how thankful I am. I'm glad I have you guys as my friends." Everyone came together for a gentle group hug. Riko sat down on the rocking chair. "This feels so comfortable! You guys did such an amazing job." 

"Hey Riko-chan, can we hold Mika? We didn't have a chance to." "Oh of course. Here." Riko handed Chika the baby and Chika was in awe. "He's so little. Hey there little one!" Mika starred at her then grabbed her nose. "Oh you like my nose huh?" Then he started pulling her nose. "Ow ow ow, ok stop." 

You took Mika from Chika. "I see a lot of Riko in his apprentice and a lot of Yohane-chan's personally." "You're not wrong about the personality." Riko commented as You pasted him to Ruby. 

"Is this how you hold him?" "Let me help you Ruby." "Thanks onee-chan. He's kinda heavy." "He does eat a lot." Ruby passed him to Hanamaru. 

Hanamaru was just rocking around. She looked like she knew what to do. "Wow Maru-chan, I didn't know you were a natural with children." Ruby commented impressed. "You think so? Well I guess so since sometimes at the shrine the mothers would ask me to hold on to their babies if there older children are running around." Hanamaru said as she gave the baby to Dia. 

Once Mika was in Dia's arms, he smiled. "I think he likes me. Look, he's smiling." Everyone was going "aww". Dia started to baby talk to him. That got a little laugh from Mari. "Having fun there? I didn't know you like kids." Dia blushed a little. "W-why yes, I do love children." Dia passed him the Kanan. 

"Hey there little guy. When you're a little older I'm going to train you up to get these puppies." He said as flexed his muscles. Mika couldn't stop starring at his muscles. Kanan chuckled and gave Mika to Mari. 

Mika loved the feeling of Mari's chest. This didn't go unnoticed by the group. "Well someone likes boobs. Too bad your mamas don't have any." Mari laughed as Yohane took Mika from her. "I think he has had enough." 

They continued to talk for a while. Mika did fell asleep and they left him in the room to sleep. Then they all left leaving Yohane and Riko to be in the baby's care. They heard Mika crying and they went to his room. 

Riko picked him up and started to feed him. "Lily, you think I would make a good parent?" She looked at her. "What makes you think that you wouldn't be?" Yohane looked away. "I don't think I have what it takes. I don't have a motherly feel like you do. And I have my job so I wouldn't be home a lot." 

"Yocchan, you will be a great parent. I was surprised that you even stayed with me when I told you I was pregnant. Most people would have left. You care about me and your son. I think just the simple thought of you caring about us is enough in my book." She gave Yohane a kiss. "I know that you will stay by my side and I will become your wife one day." 

Yohane was happy. She didn't want this moment to end. And she plans to keep her future bride and her son happy until the end. 

End.

**Author's Note:**

> I loved writing this and I hope did too :3 I thought I wanted to write little stories with it but then I changed my mind. If you want mini stories let me know!


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